So I heard the above quote as I was listening to music a couple of days ago at work and I found the phrase, in those few seconds, to be wildly inspirational. (So forgive me in advance if I wax a little poetic.)
Now I’m not really saying I’m going to set myself on fire. Nope. For me this is a figurative fire, the cleansing fire, the purifying. The inexplicably alluring, enlightened flame. So for me, at this time in my life, it’s also (symbolically) wildly appropriate.
I guess more than anything it reminded me that when I go to Japan, I’m basically starting afresh. I’ll be honest with you – times were strange or at odds for me here in the US even when I thought they were the best of times. I couldn’t see people who truly cared about me very often; I saw people who were minimally concerned with me too often. And my job straight out of college was a bit boring to be honest. It got me thinking: “Is this what day-to-day life is for most people?” If so, I started thinking that I didn’t want it. I think it also had to do with the fact that I was freshly out of university and afterward your mind just isn’t continually stimulated like it used to be. For some people, this is good; for me, it was mind-numbing. And then, I suddenly became unemployed (tough times for real estate marketing, that’s true). So there literally became nothing holding me where I was – nothing left to burn. No fuel that kept me going from day to day, no enlivening principle. It wasn’t an easy road after that. I had always known that year that I would finally apply for JET, and I suddenly had all the more reason. (Hey life – impeccable timing!) So when I applied I really put forth the effort to apply for JET and return to Japan and finally to take a step in my life that I had put off for much too long.
Now I know you might argue that similar stuff is going to happen to me in Japan. Yeah, probably – you’re right. I definitely won’t be seeing my family as much (but I didn’t get to see them much at home either, so hey, why not move halfway across the world to not see them?) and work won’t be amazing everyday (it’s still life) but I’m looking for the changes that are going to pull me through those situations.
- Firstly, I cannot wait to make new friends. I am getting quite excited just contemplating the prospect, because JET is a really great opportunity to meet people who come from all over the world and not just one locality.
- Secondly, though I will be teaching English, I will be working on Japanese every day (or at this moment I fully intend to). That is so incredibly exciting for me, because I will be learning language in the way that I think is truly the best: immersion – by living in the country where the language is spoken and using said language on a daily basis.
- Thirdly, I plan to visit my previous host family and see more of Japan. As much as is allowed by weekends and time off and BoE/CO at least. ESID FTW!
I also think I’ll be able to drop a lot of US-oriented behaviors I’ve learned that are probably non-beneficial character-wise and/or just plain unnecessary. Even through this and next week’s rush to get appointments, cancel services, complete paperwork, and say bye to friends that I’ve made the past five or so years, I feel old habits falling away and it’s pretty liberating. I’m feeling free as I get closer and closer to my goal, so much so that my mind feels truly set ablaze. Reawakened, if you will. In a word, I feel I’ve really set myself, my potential, afire, leaving it purified and refreshed.
I can’t wait to see what rises from the ashes.
laceywrites 